Finality

I have a question-what are the family protocols for losing a family member in your family?  Is there one specific person who calls around, perhaps an older aunt or cousin? My family is pretty cut and dried-nine times out of ten grandma will be the one to call her kids-my mom and her three sisters. They are responsible for telling their children about the passing. When my grandpa passed, one of my aunts made the phone call. One of my sisters took the call and started gathering the family around mom.

I just don’t know how to quite handle this situation though. Chris and I slept through most of the day, then had a good afternoon with me running to get spaghetti fixings. We ate supper and lazed around watching TV this evening. Chris got ready for work and I put a movie in. At 1015 pm the computer pinged with an IM-it was my hubby. Seems his Uncle Frank passed away sometime late last night/early this morning. No one contacted him till he got to work. There was an email sent to security that Chris’ uncle who worked in another department had a brother passed away and that there was a card available if anyone wanted to sign. That’s how Chris found out about his Uncle passing away.

Chris called his folks and was understandable upset with them. To the degree that he ignored their repeated phone calls back. I got up here and Chris was just a wreck. How is he suppose to work in this condition? Why didn’t someone somewhere call?

His dad called while I was sitting up here and talked to me some. He gave me the time and place of the rosary and service. His dad (R) said that the nursing home that the Uncle was at called R and his mom (E) to let them know and to tell E’s parents. The Uncle had a child that R and E has been raising so there was her to deal with in addition to dealing with funeral arrangements and her parents.

Understandably things were busy and chaotic and emotional. Still. Don’t put off for tomorrow what can be done today. It was said that when they got the call they were sure that Chris was already asleep for the day. Well, there are just somethings you just wake us day-sleepers up for. Like deaths in the family. At least Chris would have the day to grieve and prepare mentally for work.

In many ways this has hit Chris hard because of the finality of it. While the Uncle wasn’t doing well I don’t think anyone is ever expected to pass on. We’ve got a live forever mentality. And we don’t live forever. So my question is: Is there anything you need to say, do, feel, or deal with? If this was your last day, last minute, last breath is there anything you would fix, love, communicate, or just express? And more importantly, why are you waiting. Life and death, as my hubby has been saying, is final.

And from a Christian standpoint let me just say that there is a heaven and there is a hell. Are you comfortable with the direction your going?